Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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