My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
