I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
