I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
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