I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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