Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
