At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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