Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
