Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize