Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
