Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
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