brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
