If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up