Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
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They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?