I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it