Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

The bars here don't close until 4!

(703): View more from Virginia

my legs don't close until 4

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(407): The bars here don't close until 4! (703): my legs don't close until 4 http://tfl.nu/ja9y

Replies (28) Good night (3804) Bad night (617)
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(205): View more from Alabama

he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?

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(205): he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy? http://tfl.nu/nikx

Replies (36) Good night (617) Bad night (4870)
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(760): View more from California

He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.

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(760): He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper. http://tfl.nu/lg2v

Replies (26) Good night (10856) Bad night (967)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.

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(920): Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work. http://tfl.nu/fle5

Replies (15) Good night (6453) Bad night (989)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!

(218): View more from Minnesota

I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.

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(715): Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy! (218): I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head. http://tfl.nu/0svk

Replies (29) Good night (4960) Bad night (1928)
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(503): View more from Oregon

you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?

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(503): you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you? http://tfl.nu/6gws

Replies (4) Good night (3422) Bad night (769)
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(317): View more from Indiana

You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.

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(317): You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order. http://tfl.nu/45qd

Replies (7) Good night (848) Bad night (1642)
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(706): View more from Georgia

after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"

(404): View more from Georgia

I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.

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(706): after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius" (404): I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off. http://tfl.nu/115h

Replies (3) Good night (2464) Bad night (612)
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(940): View more from Texas

He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.

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(940): He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there. http://tfl.nu/awit

Replies (3) Good night (1107) Bad night (519)
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(970): View more from Colorado

The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful

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(970): The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful http://tfl.nu/mqfz

Replies (7) Good night (776) Bad night (403)
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(425): View more from Washington

I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?

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(425): I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right? http://tfl.nu/i5oh

Replies (1) Good night (1141) Bad night (398)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend

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(610): I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend http://tfl.nu/i89p

Replies (3) Good night (516) Bad night (673)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.

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(270): Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash. http://tfl.nu/fwcr

Replies (8) Good night (344) Bad night (893)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.

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(402): No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn. http://tfl.nu/c09n

Replies (1) Good night (318) Bad night (580)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...

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(847): I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat... http://tfl.nu/j5yd

Replies (2) Good night (972) Bad night (214)

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