she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
It was confusing and full of hummus
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
