we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
