I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
