i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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