Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize