i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
