so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
