good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i will never coherently bang her
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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