well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
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