Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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