from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
