Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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