I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Randomize
