So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
