...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
