I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize