I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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