using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
