***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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