He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
