Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
