kristin has been a bad kristin
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
