do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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