My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
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