she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize