my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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