I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
