to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
