are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
