youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
