I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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