dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
