why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
