in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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