Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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