I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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