...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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