It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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