Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
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He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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