The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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