I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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