I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
