I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
