she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
