The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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