Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
