So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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