I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
