I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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