I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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