the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
