So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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