YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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