Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
