she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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