dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
