it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
We are all done wearing pants today
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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