It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
